I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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