accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
