It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
