I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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