I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
