i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
