real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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