Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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