We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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