i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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