Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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