hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize