How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
