the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
