Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fill condoms, not promises.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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