I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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