its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
