I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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