Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
