the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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