im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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