Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
