You're a womanizer and a bitch.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
