so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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