mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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