all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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