eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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