I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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