I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize