Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
