There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
