ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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