Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
