he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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