the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
