The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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