Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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