dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
