smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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