I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
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No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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