I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
