Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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