It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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