When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
