I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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