Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
