i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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