You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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