My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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