In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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