were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
