i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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