i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize