They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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