Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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