I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
