yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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