i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
